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Monday, September 1, 2008/ 6:31 PM Productive or not? Back from a short break. Shall start this post by saying HAPPY 15TH BDAE ROCK! HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR DAY TODAY. I have loads to blog about, but maybe next time. I ain't feeling exactly good today. Maybe that caps letter is the only positive thing that is gna come out of this post today. After talking to both veronicas, I finally came to a conclusion. I guess I made a wrong choice in the first place. I agree with what veron loy say: "No point fussing over it, since A refuses to do anything. Seriously, why am I even bothered about this issue? Why do I seem to care so much? Well, cos if everything fails (which is bound to), I will be implicated yet again and have to become some people's tool again. A substitute. Is it really being fair to me? I really don't know. Not going to say this to many people, don't feel like and it's pointless. Even B told me something very distubring, a POV of an outsider. And it isn't nice, is it? I really can't forgive you for what you did. So many times, you carried out the same trick again. keep making use of us to do the things you want us to do? I really don't know. I'm beginnign to doubt myself. it's weird. I thought today was productive, yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. What overwhelms me is sadness, sadness and more sadness. Studying more doesn't resolve feelings, does it? What you left is a scar that can't be removed. And get it straight, it's gna be hard for me to forgive you. I really can't face you, and I don't want to. I want to heal it on my own. If it doesn't concern you, please ignore this. I do not want to create another controversy out of what I say. period. |
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